Please tell me what you all think of this Caitian Helm officer i created for a mini-campaign i am creating in particular I am wondering if I created good Values or if they could use some work
EDIT UPDATE ON THE WORDING OF ONE OF THE VALUES TO MAKE IT MORE CAITIAN SOUNDING
Miz’uki Helmswoman.pdf (111.4 KB)
@TheDefiantPirate I think what you have put together for values looks good save for some minor editing errors:
“The Crew is my pride, I will get them home!” misuses a comma. Either make it two separate sentences with a period terminating both or use a semicolon between the two independent clauses.
“Take care of the ship and she will always bring you home home.” should have the redundant home deleted.
“Aventure is around the next star” has Adventure spelled incorrectly.
Beyond that, the only thing I notice is that “Starship maintenance” under Focuses should have the M- in maintenance capitalized to maintain consistency with the other focuses.
As an editor, these were the things that stuck right out at me upon review. As with any replies (and generally applied to advice), take what you like and leave the rest.
Thank you so much @Sparky I will make those changes I am working on an Engineering character as well She will probably end up as the Assistant Chief Engineer
In the mean time here is the ship that we will be rolling with I added a couple extra Talents to the ship Because I am basing it loosely off an STO ship and this campaign is supposed to be more of a Help me become a better GM (in preperation to become a GM on a Star Trek Roleplay club i am a part of) as well as just for fun plus i doubt its really that OP
USS Gettysburg.pdf (99.5 KB)
@TheDefiantPirate Okay, more editor corrections.
Space Frame: Variant rather than Veriant
Traits: ** Without** not With Out: it is a single word
Launch Bay: Shuttlecraft: you are missing the -h-
Talents: Laboratories: missing the letter -o-
Talents: Diplomatic Suites: missing the letter -e-
Also in Talents, you have a comma after Quantum Torpedoes but I don’t know if that is just an oversight or if you intend to add something more after the torpedoes, so it might be appropriate.
I hope this helps. If you have more you wish me to review, just say the word.
@Sparky Thank you again I will let you know
@TheDefiantPirate Always glad to help.
@Sparky Ok Last one for the night
Tallith Sh’Zoarhi.pdf (111.0 KB)
@TheDefiantPirate Ask and ye shall receive. . .
Focuses: Jury**-**Rigging should not be hyphenated as it is two separate words: Jury Rigging.
Values: If I can’t Fix it; Its not worth my time! This one is riddled with minor errors. It should read as, If I Can’t Fix it, It’s Not Worth My Time! Notice the capitalization changes as they are implemented to make the Value consistent with the rest of the Values and the document as a whole. Also, in this case, it is the semicolon that is used incorrectly as a comma is appropriate in this sentence. Further, Its should be It’s since this is a contraction of It is rather than the possessive pronoun Its.
Values: Live Every Day like it is you’re last! This one also has a few errors: it should read as, Live Every Day Like It Is Your Last. In this Value, the capitalization needs to be made consistent once again but, unlike the one I edited just above, you do want the possessive pronoun rather than the contraction here. As such, you want your rather than you’re (you are).
Weapons: Phaser type-2 should be Phaser Type-2 (for consistency) and there is a comma after Charge that may or may not be appropriate. It depends on whether something is added to the qualities after Charge. If not, the comma needs to be thrown to the trash can.
That’s all I see for now. As always, Editor-in-Chief Sparky is at your service.
My favorite flight controller:
talents: spirit of discovery, cautious conn, veteran, fly by
with a good value for going in the unknown and another one for rough times(fight and or environmental hazards)
Your role in the group: filling momentum pool at the start of the game, or when it goes too low in rough times
. Veteran gives you a chance to re-gain it and doing this again
fly by is versatile and helps also if you have to pilot and fire with a Danube class.
Thanks @betatester I will probably switch out Meticulous then for something else These are going to end up as NPC characters in the game I will be running so I want them to be equal to the player characters which means they need to be as good as possible While still being my own interesting characters (IE Being the Caitian and Andorian respectfully
I understand your interest for Caitian . In this case add an Athletics focus and go for the tail. There will be many opportunities to climb, crawl, keep balance or use a supplementary hand. For the andorian add a melee combat focus