This is a joke scenario I have made around April’s Fools Day. Please don’t take offence and do not blow my house.
The away team will have to complete an important diplomatic mission. Mostly going shopping but not as easy as it seems.
Spoilers
Advice keep enough threat to do a reversal of fortune
Prologue: The ship is on fire because as a second contact with humanoid mole people a sering will be given on the Captain quarters. All the officers will be present and also the players. They will serve the meals.
Scene 1: In the briefing room
The service takes place in the briefing room. Maybe you can ask the players to decorate the room. They are forbidden to go at the kitchen (because we need a scenario) the method is free. Keep them busy.
Starter: Foie Gras and Sauternes White Wine
Main Course: Veal marengo and Chateau Picard Red Wine
Cheese: Bree
Desert: Profiteroles with Dom Perignon Champagne date -15 years
make some skill tests -and remember that Conn is used for service. The meal goes well until the cheese. The mole people delegation, when they see the Bree are more than upset ’ How Dare You!!!" “Sacrilege!!!” 'Barbarians!!!" and are going away.
The diplomats (or maybe the players) can pinpoint the problem Pasteurized Bree was served. Only pasteurized cheese is allowed on Starfleet Ships for health issues. But for moles, even humanoid ones not having living worms in a cheese is unacceptable.
The diplomats will negotiate another meal in a week (adjust the time to go back to Earth and go back to ship) but it must include a Federation Cheese with Worms in it.
the players will be asked to find this rare thing.
Scene 2: Preparations on the Ship
Replicators can’t be used because they can’t replicate life.
Klingon and Ferengi can’t be asked because they are not part of the Federation
If asked which race in Federation can have such a cheese the obvious answer is the French.
You can have them call Picard or find a French crew member.
even in French cheese living worms are rare but he can think of the “Casgiu Marzu” Casu martzu - Wikipedia a cheese from Corsica. But the Geneva convention has banned the production of the cheese 300 years ago. But knowing the inhabitant respect for their culture (and very low respect for law and law enforcers) it might be possible to find one
The convention of Geneva 4 has banned many cheese and classified them as bioweapons. A Starfleet regulations roll might be needed to have a diplomatic briefcase
Also the refining time blocks any crew made cheese.
One thing that the gamemaster should consider is that any transporter travel with a living cheese will trigger the safety filters of the transporter and will wipe out any living worm
The players will be given a Danube because the main ship will stay here doing diplomatic things.
Scene 3: Corsica spacio port of Bastia (or Ajaccio depending of your preference)
There you have to instill a Corsica flavor. L'Enquête corse (2004) - IMDb for the fun part or maybe Duel au soleil (Série télévisée 2014– ) - IMDb bot fun but great for mentality and culture clash). Some corsican slang like Pinzutu for a tourist (that’s oncludes our players or Va be or Francis to replace any player name.
Make your NPC non talkative, proud, non cooperative and secretive.
Hard to find cheese shops because we are in the mighty Federation and no money is needed but you have to find cheese enthusiasts that still produce some as a pastime. They can try to calibrate their tricorder to find cheese odor.
Serious guys speak only Corsican and bot the standard English but translator is there to help.
There’s no way to find Casgiu Marzu in a big town but after negotiation they will indicate a village in the montain tht may have Casgiu Marzu from before the interdiction (of course it’s a lie there’s no Casgiu Marzu of 300 years old but they will not admit that Casgiu Marzu is still produced, they aren’t rats)
Scene 4 the village in mountain
You are flying in your Danube there(s a little village in the mountain near woods with a village place with a Church, a café and a crumbling townhall. You can land your Danube even if there"s some people gathered on the place.
Why should they not land on the place? because they are playing petanque and will take very badly if their game is dirupted? Air movement is enough to displace the cochonet (the aim of the game).
They will find a clearing near the woods. Why they should not land on the clearing? brcause there"s mushrooms and mushroom is a serious matter here.
They will need to find another clearing without mushroom (this can lead to a mushroom map advantage. On this map they can find 2 spots with more mushrooms)
They will have to walk a lot to go back to the village.
In the church there’s the ceremony for the burial of the old Parcimoni that died without family.
At the café people are watching the petanque game. They can ask for food and wine from the owner. In fact they should. What you don(t want to taste my food and my wine! So in fact they must (the owner Columba is making food for all the people at the cafee for free at least you can recognize her work)
If the players praise Columba meal and wine, no need to lie it’s really good, and talk about their Casgiu Marzu problem she will tell them to go back yo their ship that is parked on Rossi propriety without his authorization and she will call some Casgiu Marzu enthusiasts that may have Casgiu Marzu from before the interdiction (same lie) because of course everybody fully respect the law.
Scene 6 in the maquis (not the Maquis)
2 people with black balaclava on the head and phaser rifles will ask to drop weapons and tricorders and communicators. If players refuse or fire use a reversal; before players can move 6 other people appear from behind trees they were cloaked, and neutralize the group)
if they accept they will be blinded with a sack and cuffed
Scene 7 the Grotto
Rgey will end in a grotto in an unknown location with ham and sausages drying on hooks on the ceiling. If they resisted they are between ham and sausages.
They heard that they are looking for Casgiu Marzu they may trade for it.
One possibility is the musrooms place of the late Parcimoni (the big mushrooms locations on the map because Parcimoni was old and ill and don’t have collect mushrooms for several years now). Or perhaps the right to produce Casgiu Marzu as part of a cultural exception (but the ban on export outside Corsica still remain)
The first contact with Casgiu Marzu sure needs fitness rolls
The engineer seeing the Casgiu Marzu has to make a special container to be able to bring it back
Scene 7 Back on the main ship
Depending on the precautions of the team you can add some biohazard alarms, bio decontamination shower (beware for the worms)
And at the end the banquet with happy mole people and sick and vomiting Federation officers trying to be stoic.