And a strict stance like that is going to mean that there’s less variety between Vulcan characters because they’re all required to take a set of talents in order to be considered “properly Vulcan”.
Which, really, is harsher than it needs to be. As a rule, I only make a talent mandatory if it represents some universal physiological standard for that species - Betazoids have some degree of telepathic capability, Klingons have a high degree of natural resilience owing to Brak’lul.
But the Nerve Pinch (a combative expression of Vulcan Neuropressue, a skill that can be learned and taught, not an innate ability) and the Mind Meld (something which all Vulcans have the potential for, but which takes extensive training to use safely and effectively) are not fundamental parts of being a Vulcan. They’re techniques common to Vulcans, but no more.
Saying that “Vulcans who can’t Nerve Pinch is like them being illiterate and innumerate” is, IMO, the wrong way to go about things, and honestly, “TAS shows children bragging about knowing it” doesn’t really sell me on the idea, because it’s an instance of children being petty and malicious (and thus, not something I take as a definitive source on anything).
In short: let characters be themselves. Don’t require complex background excuses for not taking a particular option, or introduce additional narrative hardships just because a character doesn’t live up to your expectations for that species or culture.